On balance and being a disciple

So I have arrived to the famous scripture in Acts 2:42-47 that most churches reference when they are discussing/training/justifying the small group ministry they are starting/involved in/trying to resuscitate.  Ironically, a friend wrote a post the other day containing an article about the idea of questioning small group ministries.  I hope he doesn't mind if I allow people to access it here.

The writer is convinced that small groups don't work.  I disagree with the statement, but not the principle.  For that matter, sermons don't work.  Should we stop preaching?  I think too much of anything can be harmful, that doesn't mean it is totally dysfunctional.  He states that "Small groups are things that trick us into believing we’re serious about making disciples."  He goes on that it is just a time to "develop shallow friendships" and "helping Christians feel connected" I think that can happen when people become too comfortable, but is that a symptom of a larger problem?  Say...a church that has become so good at creating disciples, that they forget to bring new people in to be discipled?  I do agree with his take that some churches have looked to small groups as the "magic bullet", but they have been sadly disappointed.

I agree with what I think he is saying about not being able to "force" relationships, however, the verse says "go and make disciples..." so there has to be some action on our part.  We cannot sit around and "spontaneously" wait for people to form relationships, in hopes that the Good News will be heard.  I think it has something to do with balance...

A balance between growing my personal relationship with God and sharing my personal relationship with others.  I think we are shy to share our personal relationship with others because we are not sure if we are keeping up with the growth expectation of others.  I also think we share with others (do and say all the right Christian stuff) to avoid the fact that we know we have not had much growth lately.  It is a paradox of sorts. 

We have been using Rob Bell videos (Nooma.com) in our small group/Sunday School for the past couple months.  Yesterday's was titled Rhythm...about being in tune.  About how some people know the song, but are still out of tune....about the idea that maybe their is a song playing all the time and it is up to us to get in tune...it really got me thinking...am I really a disciple?  Here is a trailer...try and watch the whole vignette if you ever have a chance

David said it all.......

I like how The Message summarizes what Peter was saying when he was quoting David....you follow all that?  Peter had just quoted the prophet Joel, and then in verses 22-24 he specifically addresses the Israelites and uses David at the end to give it a little more credibility:

I saw God before me for all time.
      Nothing can shake me; he's right by my side.
   I'm glad from the inside out, ecstatic;
      I've pitched my tent in the land of hope.
   I know you'll never dump me in Hades;
      I'll never even smell the stench of death
                                         You've got my feet on the life-path,
                                                 with your face shining sun-joy all around. (Msg Acts 2:25-28)

God never goes away or takes a vacation.  He is Emmanuel, God with us, and that gives us confidence.  I am not dependent on outside circumstances for the inside feeling of joy/contentment.  I exist where there is hope, knowing that I never will have to experience the "weeping and gnashing of teeth" that will be typical in the pits of Hell.  God gives me direction, steers me down the road less traveled, all the while spilling peace and contentment on those I come in contact with.  That is the type of Christianity I long to be a part of...David really did say it all.........

When do dreams die?

Acts 2:17 mentions that "in the last days", "young men will see visions and old men dream dreams."  I started to wonder....when do dreams die?  I have talked to a number of students over my 12 year teaching career.  Many of them started out with dreams of being a doctor or lawyer, but somehow have ended up possibly looking at barely finishing high school, and if they do, not really having much direction afterward.  How does this happen?

 Obviously there are circumstances, beyond their control, that may contribute to the dream slowly fading into nonexistence...but I wonder, is there an exact moment when the dream gets put to death?  It breaths its last, the guillotine drops, and it fades away to where?  Can it be brought to life again?  This intrigues me because I feel like this is where my calling is right now, for this particular season of life....I am a dream-keeper.  I endeavor to foster, develop, and resuscitate the dreams of young men and women.  Helping them to key in on their mind's eye, and look forward at what could possibly be out there for them.

Helping to do this involves the skills of unearthing a ‘picture of the future’ that fosters genuine commitment and engagement, rather than compliance.  Peter Senge wrote the book the The Fifth Discipline, and in it he talks about personal mastery and the idea of sharing vision with others in the order of systems thinking: 

"People with a high level of personal mastery live in a continual learning mode. 

They never ‘arrive’. Sometimes, language, such as the term ‘personal mastery’ creates a misleading sense of definiteness, of black and white. 

But personal mastery is not something you possess.

It is a process.

It is a lifelong discipline.

People with a high level of personal mastery are acutely aware of their ignorance, their incompetence, their growth areas"

 

Sounds a little bit like Holiness doctrine??  So doing this ministry is sometimes difficult....because it is hard to measure success (by the world's standards).  One thing I do know, however, everyday could be the 'last days', so I don't want to be found guilty of killing any dreams.

On daughters and Snowmen

"That snowman looks BAD daddy...it is way too small."  My 7 year-old's critique of our frozen creation we spent a good hour on Martin Luther King Day trying to construct.  I know she had images of Frosty with a perfect silk top hat, perfectly symmetrical branches, and as true to life as in the animated cartoon.  But our "Frosty," as you can see, does not quite measure up to expectations.  "It's not the right type of snow," I'm trying to console a now disappointed young lady.

A little back story:  All our kids were supposed to go out and play together.  The older two decided it was too cold and got engaged in other things...so the "duty" of going outside fell to me.  Honestly, the LAST thing I wanted to be doing at 3pm on Monday afternoon.

So, now we are knee deep, beginning to feel the chill, and I have thoroughly disappointed this little girl, who somehow wants me to create Frosty in our front yard.  "Let's put a hat and scarf on it, and look for some branches for arms, to see if we can make it look a little better"....I'm hoping this will distract the current state of disappointment.  She's good with that idea, and we head off hand-in-hand to find "arms" in the yard.  We find the "perfect" ones, and the disappointment on her face begins to turn to hope.  "I'm going to ask mom for the carrots," she says with a new found excitement.

We get the "eyes" and "buttons", and all the other accessories in place.  I look and my precious little girl's near tears have been replaced with smiles and joy.  "Hey Dad!  It still looks kinda bad, but we did our best.  Let's take a picture!"  WHAM!!  Spiritual awareness while building a snowman!!  I wonder if God says that about what we endeavor to do sometimes....it looks kinda bad....I know you did your best....Let's take a picture.

I later thanked my wife for "nudging" me to go outside(she is so wise).  It was time well spent...it is hard to disappoint those little ones who look to us as heroes...but their is learning that takes place in disappointment...and what I learned really mattered was the relationship and the time we spent together, not necessarily the quality of what we produced....i know their is spiritual value in that somewhere!!

So, next time it doesn't necessarily turn out as you, or someone who looks up to you, quite expected...remind yourself..."it looks kinda bad...we did our best...let's go ahead and take a picture........................."

Holy Spirit or Too Much Wine??

So, there they are, sitting in Jerusalem, waiting for "the gift."  Next thing they know, they are having a Wizard of Oz type experience.  I mean, rushing wind, tongues of fire, and speaking in a language different than their own.  What if that  happened today?  Sitting in church....."how great is our God, sing with me how great is our God...." and out of nowhere a crazy wind that undoes everybody's Sunday best!  I think know people would be speaking in tongues...probably saying some things not normally heard in church :)

I wonder...Am I so filled with the Holy Spirit that people think my actions are like someone who has had too much wine?  Do they have to be for people to know that I am trying to live a Spirit-filled life?  I wonder if I blend too much with the culture....I wonder.

Waiting and Control

Being a product of the 80's (there is no better music, by the way), I remember a Janet Jackson song (stop laughing) about control.  Click here if you need a flashback.  It was very self-serving and individualistic.  It described the rugged individualism that was so evident at that time, and continues to be evident, keeping us from existing in community as God designed.  That is for another post, however.  One of the bridges in the song says:

Got my own mind

I wanna make my own decisions

When it has to do with my life, my life

I wanna be the one in control.

So what do Janet Jackson and Peter in Acts Chapter 1 have in common?  They both had control problems.  Being patient was also a problem for Peter.  I don't know much about Janet Jackson, but Peter was told to wait for the Holy Spirit(1:4-5).

I was interested in this whole "casting lots" idea mentioned in Acts 1:26.  In reading some, it looks as if this occurred most often in the Old Testament, in Joshua, dealing with the division of land, as the Israelites had been instructed to do on many occasions by God in the Book of Numbers(Numbers 26:55; 33:54; 34:13; 36:2)  There isn't a whole lot (no pun intended) about casting lots in the New Testament except for this instance in Acts and when the Roman Soldiers were casting lots for Jesus' garments at the cross, and this was little more than a game for them.

So I am not thinking that casting lots was exactly what God had in mind to replace Judas, but that is what Peter knew, so that is what Peter went with.  Jesus was not there to give input, and the Holy Spirit had not yet come to give guidance, so Peter, in his boldness, went with what he thought was best.  Maybe he should have waited.  The two men considered, Joseph Barabbas and Matthias, are never really heard from again, but one of them tasted rejection that day.  I am so glad I have not been chosen or not by God, simply by flipping a coin or rolling the dice.  That seems pretty OUT of control....

I guess John Ortberg, Author and Teaching Pastor at Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago says it best:

"Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do

until we get what we want.

Waiting is part of the process of becoming

what God wants us to be."

Looking to keep giving up control, and waiting, so I don't miss out on something really good....sorry Janet!

Does God have a Plan B?

Sorry...been off the grid a couple days. Contracted a winter sinus issue and it has kept me down and out

However, continuing to read in Acts, I continue to find myself learning and having questions. So Jesus has left and gone into heaven. They return to where they are staying and begin to pray with Mary and others...probably asking themselves what they should do next. After all, they were told not to leave Jerusalem.

I am sure there were questions among them about what had transpired over the last several days. So on a day when there was a decent crowd, Peter (who was never shy to speak to a crowd), attempts to answer one of the questions that was probably floating around the rumor mill....what about Judas? How did we not know? Why would he do such a thing? He was one of us!?

So I have a question in my mind...was Judas' fate sealed? I think I realize God didn't cause him to sin, and that he was tempted by his own evil desires, etc (James 1:14-15) But Peter references some verses in Psalms that talk about what happened to Judas as scripture being fulfilled. They don't mention Judas by name but the reference fits saying "his home would have no one living in it." Obviously because Judas went out and hung himself. So I wonder, what if Judas would have chosen differently, if he indeed had a choice!? Would God have had a plan B person amongst the ranks to turn their back on the Christ?

Does God have a plan B for me? I know I have been dragged away and enticed by my own evil desires...I haven't always made the choices that have lined up with His plan for my life.........I just wonder. A question for Heaven, I guess.

Birth of a movement??

Do you think these guys that Jesus ascended into Heaven in front of, knew that they were the start of a movement that would ultimately change the course of human history? I'm not so sure. They were still very self-seeking in their questions of Jesus, after all they were expecting to see The Kingdom come with power(Mark9:1) So in verse 6, when they ask Jesus if he is going to re-establish the kingdom, I am not sure if they were being selfish, or still didn't quite comprehend what Jesus was about to assign them to.

But right away, like a patient grandfather, Jesus tells them that it is not for them to know (verse 7). Then, in what I believe not to be coincidence, He tells those who were expecting to see POWER, that they will get the POWER.....

However, a few moments later, staring aimlessly into the sky, I still don't think they realized what was going to happen to them in about 10 days (Pentecost). I think I am guilty of the same thing sometimes. I have been given power by the Holy Spirit. Do I live like it? Or am I staring into the sky....wondering...hoping He will ask someone else? I hope I continue to recognize opportunities to be a witness...sure am glad God is patient!!

Leaving Jerusalem

I had breakfast over the Holidays with a good friend.  We were talking about "doing church", among other things. We were challenging the traditional views on going to church and the whole idea that it is very easy to turn into a Sunday-go-to-church-consumer, and forget about why we "do church."

So I decided this New Year, I would begin by reading in Acts, and see if I could not learn some new things from the New Testament Church.  So I did not get very far this morning, and a phrase caught my attention.  (As an aside, I have decided to try a technique shared with me by a good friend.  Praying that something in a passage would jump off the page, and then reading it...reading it again, and then doing some journaling about what thoughts are evoked from that passage...that is where this blog comes in)  So, Acts Chapter 1 verse 4, Luke has set the stage describing the scene the 40 days after Jesus was crucified.  He states that he appeared to them several times to prove he was alive.

He then mentions a particular time, when they were eating together.  He says, "Do not leave Jerusalem until the Father sends you the gift he promised, as I told you before."  The phrase that caught my eye was "Do not leave Jerusalem..."  How many times have I "left Jerusalem" before I got my gift?  How many times have I ended what I was doing, before I was able to be totally used by God?  Did I "leave" because it was too hard?  How many people leave a church because their preferences are not the same as the ministry team in place at a particular time?  How many people "leave" a job because of another person's attitude?  Now, don't get me wrong, there are definitely situations where this is appropriate, however, I think there are times that we "leave" before we get the gift......


I am challenged by this idea.  What if Jesus would have "left Jerusalem" before the plan was complete?  Sometimes I think we need to hang out, and not leave Jerusalem.  We need to wait and see what gift the Lord has for us.  This can get hard.  Maybe even boring....self-centered......Challenge us from all different fronts...let's choose to hang out, make another trip to the buffet, and see what the Lord has in store for us.

New Year's Resolution

Hey Everyone.  I tried this once before, and did not do a very good job.  I am looking for a way to hold myself accountable to keep track of what I wonder about spiritually.  My goal is to keep an online journal of sorts and share it with you, the people I consider solid influences on my spiritual development.  I hope to post a couple times a week.  I am not asking anything of you necessarily, but thought I would provide you some light reading when you are wandering around cyberspace and your email does not have anything too interesting in it. 

The title, Catterpillar Musings, goes back to a quote that I used when I started my teaching career at Orange High School...."There is nothing about a caterpillar that gives us any indication that it will someday be a butterfly"  I think there are things we think about and experience that somehow come together to form who we are and who God intends for us to be...we just don't always share them.  So this is my attempt to share them.  Please feel free to comment.